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GOTCHA! Chapter 5
I left the camera on the bed and walked over to the door. Looking through the peephole I saw AJ on the other side. Why is he here? Did I want to let him in? Yes, I did. Slowly I opened the door, he was still wearing his swim shorts with a towel. God he was gorgeous all wet. "Hi." was all I said. "Hi, I just wanted to make sure that you had settled in all right and everything was okay." he whispered leaning against the door frame. "Uhm ... yeah, I am fine." I was using all my energy to not pull him into my arms and kiss him. "Can I come in for a minute?" he asked. "Sure." I replied standing to the side to let him pass. As he walked by, I got the faint smell of his cologne, I breathed deeply to take as much in as I could. "So, are you still interested in doing this video?" he asked sitting on the corner of the bed. He was inches away from Kevin's camera. I sat across from him on the bed and
reached for the camera, tucking it behind my pillow. The guard would
probably tell Kevin in the morning that I had his camera and that is
when it would all come out about what I had heard at the pool.
"Absolutely. I think that it is the kind of thing that will make
the girls want you more." I said simply. I was speechless, I didn't think that he would tell me this so soon. I sat across from him, not moving, barely breathing. I couldn't look at him, if I did, he would know everything that I was feeling. A kind of love for him, lust and most of all confusion. I wanted to be with him, but that pesky voice in my head was telling me that this was too soon and that he probably did this on occasion to get a girl into bed. "Erin ... say something." "I don't know what to say. I am surprised. We have only know each other for a day." I figured that was a good place to start, let him try to explain himself. "I know. I can't explain it. I just ... I don't even know where to start." he stammered. I got scared, don't know why, I just did. I suddenly needed more time to think. "AJ, I can't have this conversation right now. I have been awake too long, my mind is not clear. I want to be level headed before I get into this with you." I could tell that I had just broken his heart. "But just know that I feel the same thing that you do." I added quickly. He seemed to accept that, "Okay. I guess that is that. We will see you in the morning." he said and left. I threw myself down on the bed and cried. Why did life have to be so complicated? I had been lying on the bed getting my crying under control when I heard another knock at the door. Didn't anyone sleep around here? I crawled off the bed and looked in the mirror. I was a mess. "Oh well, if I am going to be traveling with these guys, they are going to have to get used to me looking my worst." I said back to the mirror. Again there was a knock on the door. I walked over and looked through the peephole. It was Kevin. "Hi Kevin, come on in." I
sighed opening the door. "One of the guards said that you had my video camera? What were you using it for?" he asked looking around for it. I pulled it out from behind the pillow, "Here. I thought that since you had decided to go ahead with the video that I would start now. So I asked around and they gave me yours. Hope you don't mind." I explained giving him the camera. "Not at all. You were at the pool with us?" he questioned. I nodded my head and turned away from him. "How much did you catch?" "Watch the tape and see for yourself." was all I said. I turned my back on him and looked out the window. I could hear the conversation that was coming from the recorder. A second later Kevin turned it off and came up behind me. "Does AJ know that you heard this?" "No. He left here a little bit ago. But I told him that I couldn't get into this with him right now." I said turning around and facing Kevin, my eyes filed with tears. "What did AJ have to say to you?" "He just told me that he wanted to be with me. I cut him off there. Like I said, I didn't want to go into it. I mean I have known him for one day. That is hardly enough time to decide if you want a relationship with someone." I could feel all the questions that I had, suddenly want to come out. "And I don't want people to think that I approached you guys with this video idea just so that I could snag one of you. And I know that I "love" AJ the performer, but I don't know AJ the person well to enough to make a decision. And how do I know that he is doing this because he wants to and not because he wants to get me into bed?" The tears had spilled over, I was standing in front of Kevin crying and almost ranting. Kevin stood there a little shocked, he hesitated only for a minute and then he took me in his arms and held me while I cried. "It's okay." he soothed. He stroked my hair, which surprised me a little, I hated it when people touched my hair, but for some reason I didn't mind that he was doing it. Kevin led me over to the bed and we sat down. His arms never left me, he rocked me back and forth, comforting me. After about half an hour I finally had gotten things under control and pulled back from Kevin. I smiled up at him, "Anyone ever tell you that you give great hugs?" "Nope, you're the first." he chuckled. He looked at me seriously then, "Erin, I want to say that I can assure you that AJ is not doing this just to get you into bed. He is not like that. And you saw for yourself how shy he is about this. He is worried about the same things that you are. He knows what will happen should you guys try this out. The press will find everything that there is on you, they will tear you apart. He doesn't want to put you through that." I interrupted him, "But, Brian has managed to keep his girlfriend out of the press all these years, how did he do that?" "He doesn't talk about her. They
all know that she exists, but that is all that they know. Obviously all
of us know her, but he has made it very clear, to everyone involved with
us, that they are not to talk about her." "Honestly." "I think that you should go find
AJ, look him in the eyes and tell him exactly what you just told me, hug
him, kiss him and get on with life. AJ will protect you from the press.
They don't even have to know about you." Kevin advised. I looked straight at Kevin, "No. I'm not ready yet. There is still a lot that I have to think about. Don't tell AJ that we talked okay, I need to figure this out before I let him know how I really feel." I laughed softly, "I need to figure out how I feel." Kevin stood up, pulling me with him. He
wrapped his arms around me again, hugging me tightly, "if you want
to talk, I am in room 412." he kissed me lightly on the cheek.
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